.. secret love that I knew could never be.For that, in truth, was what I felt; I loved him. And not in the manner of a normal mother, oh, no! In the m...nner of a woman and a man. I wanted him to protect me as I cared for him, to warm my bed, to prove his love for me on my body. I lost count of how many times I had sobbed myself to sleep knowing the impossibility of my dreams, or tried to work it out of my system by masturbating and imagining I was with someone, anyone else. It never worked,. I was so confused, I couldnt understand what he was telling me. He sat on the edge of the bed, looking at me, smiling, holding my hand. Then I felt someone lift the sheet off me from the bottom of the bed, hands on my thighs, Brian told me to lay still and let them do it, that it will make things easier for me. I looked over and seen each of the females I met earlier on both sides of the bed, pulling my legs apart, picking up my legs and pulling me to the edge of the bed. I was terrified, I. " "Your girlfriend? She's my girl too and I love her just as much as you claim to." "Are you saying I don't love her?" "Maybe you just want her for sex. That's more that can be said of me." She hit me then. "What happened?" I yelled, "We used to fuck for days. I thought you loved me. Now we're fighting over another girl. Do you even want me here anymore?" "I don't know." "Remember the drive home? How many times did we do it then? Three times?" "And then again when we got home..." "I miss that.. I’ve been part-timing work for a while, you know, but no matter how thrifty I am, my bank account is not going to support summer or fall tuition. I was hoping for the summer semester, but there’s no way.Darla says she can get me on with a friend at a REAL job in an industrial facility as an entry-level analyst. That’s what they call what used to be secretaries and administrative assistants now. Maybe, just maybe I could have enough to start the fall semester, but then I’d be back to part-time.
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